How Fear Stopped Me From Starting My Blog
Fear is one of those things we fail to realize how impactful it can be until time and opportunities have passed us by. Fear can also convince us to believe things that aren’t true. Fear sometimes causes us to act in a way that is unlike ourselves and makes us question everyone and everything around us. Fear has stopped me from starting this blog for over a year now. I'm even experiencing fear as I'm writing this post. I believe fear breeds procrastination, which has always been my middle name. I would constantly tell myself that I wasn't ready or good enough to start a blog. I would find reasons to support why I wasn't ready. When I did make an effort, I would shoot myself down because things didn't seem "perfect". I was becoming so much of a perfectionist that I spent too much time on things like, choosing a blog hosting site and overthinking the right words to express myself. I know this sounds crazy right? Allowing negative thoughts and fear stop me from putting forth any effort.
Essentially, I was allowing fear to get the best of me and would constantly compare myself to influential bloggers on social media.
There were moments when I began to question if I should even become a "blogger". Everyone is a blogger now, what makes me so special? These thoughts lead to a downward spiral. I took it to step further and began to question my writing skills, my voice, and if people would have any interest in what I had to say. What I feared the most was not being heard. I've never been so exhausted from spending time over-analyzing and overthinking every single detail. I was literally trying to convince myself that this was not a realistic goal to set. My friends aka my accountability partners (who I appreciate so much!) would ask, "what's up with your blog, have you started it yet"? Too embarrassed to admit I didn't start yet; my response would always be the same. "I'm still working on it", "Be ready when I send the link!". Self-disappointment and shame forced me to continue to delay the process even more. Finally, I became fed up and developed an idgaf kind of attitude. I had to remind myself of the reason I wanted to start a blog. To use my voice, share my thoughts and intriguing experiences while creating a community of readers who can relate. If I'm able to make an impact, I've accomplished my goal. Not only have I accomplished my goal of impacting others, but I've also pushed past my fears.
I use to question why it's taken so long for me to start a blog and would punish myself. I realized everything I've experienced up until this point was a part of the process. I had to go through those moments of highs and lows, constant questioning to get to this point. A year is a long time to live in fear, but it wasn't in vain. This experience has taught me to trust myself and be confident in all I have to offer.
My mission for this post is similar to my mission/vision for this blog, which is to share my adventures, explore, empower, my readers to challenge themselves. We're all human and will experience fear in many forms. As long as we acknowledge our fears and use them as a tool to propel us forward, there's nothing we can't accomplish. I would like to redefine the word fear with an acronym I found on Pinterest which reads, F-ace E-everything A-nd R-ise. I hope this inspires someone to face their fears
Sincerely, The Southern New Yorker